Say Yes to NO!
Updated: Nov 7
How dare the creator of The YES! Show tell someone to say NO! I know, I know, I'm an advocate in saying YES! YES! to new adventures, YES! to your dreams, YES! to your new business, but baby, there comes a time in everyone's life when you have to find balance, take a stand and say, "NO!". Shout out to Real Simple Magazine for getting it right. They even teach how do it politely.
As I laid sick and shut-in in my very comfortable bed, my discomfort forced me to revelation. My tooth was throbbing, but my brain had so many tabs open. My computer was too far to get, so I opened up a note app and jotted down my thoughts. Thought #1: know your value. Last year I took a stand and said 'No' to an editing gig. The pay, though good, wasn't my worth. So I turned that into an opportunity to help someone else who needed the pay and now they're blessed with a job! The pay was good for him, but for me, I had to see if this stream of income would help me in the end or take away from me. Almost like the quote by Paolo Coelho, "When you say 'Yes' to others, make sure you are not saying 'No' to yourself."
I realized that this move, though it would bring money, was not worth my time. I could use that time to be more creative in my dream career as a producer, director and actress. YES! all of them! Like Denzel Washington honey! And host, don't forget tv host! Like Oprah chile! I figured it would be best to make another stream of income as a consultant and to market my skills as an editor to help other hosts/actresses. So I created a REEL DEAL where I produce hosting reels for up and coming tv and talk show hosts!
Thought #2: Multiple Streams of Income via Consultations. Now, the consultation thing kind of ruffled my feathers a bit...I can't lie. I realized all the times that young ladies have called me randomly from my YouTube vids and website from Detroit, D.C., Fort Lauderdale, Alabama and others, including all over Los Angeles to gain knowledge on how to produce a show, film or event; how to be a red carpet host, get invited to cover events; or design a flyer, speak at their event or connect them with someone. I have done all of this because like Taraji P. Henson says, "We as women need to support each other." But I realized as I laid in pain, most of these jokers didn't even offer a free ticket to their event. Didn't mention that I have videography services, didn't post anything about my business/talk show, nothing...just a simple one second "thank you" for the 1, 2 or 3 hours that I shared. So I took on to Facebook with a Public Service Announcement. It looked like this:
Do you Agree or disagree with this?
Don't get me wrong, I'll pray to God for discernment on who to assist without a fee. But I have learned from certain people the value in "No". So, I actually need to thank them. Thank You Users. Thank You Inconsiderate People. And Thank You Fakers. I appreciate what you did because you've taught me. We have to understand that when bad happens to you, it isn't actually TO you, it's FOR you. (Ava Duvernay said Oprah told her this and she's never forgotten it)
If you would like a book on this particular topic, I saw this bad boy. I haven't read it to give feedback, but the reviews on it give some great insight. Check it out here.
Let your yes be yes and your no be no (Matt 5:7)